Of Eggs and onions Unit 4

The Egg: In its raw state is just that - a raw, sticky, semi-liquid mass that will spill forth when its shell is penetrated; an afterthought of what might have been.

The Shell: Fairly thin, definitely not too thick, but just a bit of protection for what lies within.

If gently cooked, the mass within becomes more separated into a semi-soft white portion with a distinct yellow gelatin-like center that when penetrated, becomes just a little more distinctive in appearance from its original raw state. The shell remains unchanged.

When hard-boiled, the mass within now becomes 2 distinctive solid substances: a round yellow ball encased in an oval of white that merely breaks apart when penetrated and yet remains distinctly different. And again the shell remains the same.

The Onion: It has no hard shell of protection...just layer upon layer to be peeled away to expose more layers...Whether fried or sauteed or boiled or sliced or diced or chopped, it remains a sequence of layers.

No, people, I'm not cooking today.

Another horrific act of violence in our country has shaken me to my core and has inspired me again, finally, to have something to say.
As I listen to the details of this shooter, I am reminded that of all the horrific events of the past few years, the ones I find most disturbing are perpetrated by someone's child - a teen or young adult - taking the lives of significant figures in his life - authority figures, parents, teachers, principals, friends, enemies, and ultimately, himself.

For many people, the question asked is Why? For me, my question is Where?

Where were the parents, the friends, the authority figures, and even the enemies in the lives of these kids? Can they not cook? Can they not add 2 + 2?

To me, these perpetrators look like eggs jumping around in boiling water or layers of onions dancing as they saute in the pan. They are flipping and flopping like fish out of water. They are sending up so many red flags that you can see the pool of blood to come; surrounding them and their victims, like a dark, thick, metallic-smelling red river in which they ALL drown.

Our children are like eggs: they have a thin protective shell around them. Without any stimulus, they will remain, on the inside, just an afterthought of what might have been. With some stimulus, as in the way parents and teachers and significant figures in their lives so enthusiastically try at the start, the inner mass begins to solidify. Yet, too soon, circumstances arise and the interest of these significant figures declines, they get distracted, stimulus ends, and the mass within is reduced to gelatin, flip-flopping around with no clear direction. For others, so much stimuli comes from the outside that they are hardened, fully cooked, only to break into pieces.

Our children's thoughts, emotions, morality, value systems, and personalities develop from the egg to adulthood as the layers of an onion that, if attention is paid, can be gently peeled away to expose their inner core.

As parents first and other significant figures in our kids' lives, it is up to us to combine the layered unprotected onion with the harder shell of protection of the egg. It is up to us to control the heat and evaluate the stimulus they receive, to be ever vigilant for those red flags, to help them develop healthy layers, and to prevent them from cracking and ultimately falling apart.

As you look at your kids, with all the enthusiasm and pride of a new parent, brush up on your math skills and improve upon your cooking. See the egg and the onion as time is ticking away and never, for a minute, or for any reason, be distracted so much that you allow the timer to go off.