Plunging into Insanity... 3

Who's that pretty girl in the mirror, there? (Which, what, where, who?) West Side Story. 
My Mother's face, my Mother's hands. Old, wrinkled, bloated, uncaring. Just gone - without a trace.

I couldn't breathe right. Should stop smoking. Can't.
Eat, smoke, sleep. That's what I do. Don't answer the phone. Don't answer the door. Whoever it is will go away. There's all my pills, spread out on the table. For how long? Ready to put in my daily dose containers for the week. What day is it? What time is it? It's Howdy Doody time, boys and girls in the Peanut Gallery. Does anybody really know what time it is? (Does anybody really care - about time...) Chicago.
Did I count them? Did I take them? Did I take them too many times? Questions, questions, too many questions. "I wrote it down. Look at the paper if you want to know." Jibberish. The words. Scribblings of unintelligible letters and numbers. Don't mean a thing. "It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that Swing. Dowah dowah dowaht dowa..." Cab Calloway. Everbody dance.

But I'm not dancing, I'm too busy Hallucinating. A pile of clean laundry on a chair in a dimly lit room... Kenny come quick there's someone in the den...
There's a whole lot of kids running through the backyard with buckets in their hands... but only I can see them.
The Sheriff and his Deputy - standing in my hallway...Sorry, Sir (always respectful, he doesn't care a whole lot for the police, something about surviving the 1960's) she hasn't been well, there's no problem here.
Why did I call the Sherrif? Clapton..."I Shot the Sherriff, but I did not Shoot no Deputy." Maybe.
Staring at the moon out the patio doors, a big full beautiful moon. People on my deck with huge pieces of white poster board. Students from the college, I think. Sketching the moon. I go out to chase them away but they just follow the moon to where it now hovers over my driveway. But it's not the moon anymore... and there are no more students...vanished... on the spot... into thin air...it's just me and the spaceship, watching me as it morphs into a huge uterus giving birth to little... little what? Drops of red falling down to the ground creating a big red puddle that ripples as more drops fall. Where did that come from?
Hi Angie, Hi Jeff. "Did you see it? Last night? The moon changed into a spaceship. Yes really. I'm sorry you missed it. Oh, OK see you later." It was a very long time before they spoke to me again.

I awake screaming. I can't breathe. Tearing my clothes off - get them off me I can't BREATHE!

Continued...one more time...I hope.